Preparation for take-off mostly seems to involve lists. So many lists. Lists of things to buy, list of things to borrow, lists of things to pack, read, watch, listen to, harangue, and for some reason, things to eat. My desk is adorned with so many lists that I’m starting to see bullet points when I close my eyes. I also see bullet points when I open my eyes – because they’re on the lists. The lists that adorn my desk. There are a lot of lists, do you see what I’m saying?

In the process of ticking off items on the ‘things to buy stuffed with goose down that will stop me freezing to death in a cornfield’ list, I found myself in a hiking equipment shop in central London, greedily eyeing the completely non-essential travel paraphernalia. Fortunately common sense prevailed and I kept my wallet in my pocket – travelling light is important even when it’s seven degrees below. And I suppose if I’m honest, in the cold light of day, we don’t actually need walkie-talkies. Even if they are in professional-looking orange and black. And work up to 5km away. And look pretty damn cool, in fact. NO. We don’t need them. I guess.

I’m trying to keep in mind that, as William Boot found to his cost in ‘Scoop’, it’s all too easy to start at the cleft sticks (to send your despatches home to the editor, of course), and get a little carried away…

“William, hesitating between polo sticks and hockey sticks, chose six of each; they were removed to the workshop. Then Miss Barton led him through the departments of the enormous store. By the time she had finished with him, William had acquired a well-, perhaps rather over-, furnished tent, three months’ rations, a collapsible canoe, a jointed flagstaff and Union Jack, a hand-pump and sterilizing plant, an astrolabe, six suits of tropical linen and a sou’wester, a camp operating table and set of surgical instruments, a portable humidor, guaranteed to preserve cigars in condition in the Red Sea, and a Christmas hamper with Santa Claus costume and a tripod mistletoe stand, and a cane for whacking snakes.”

No, I didn’t know what an astrolabe was either. It’s one of these. I shan’t be taking one. Although now I think about it, it would be kinda useful to be able to triangulate at will while on the road…